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Bollywood, Beyoncé, Bad Taste – Here's Everything That Happened At The Ambanis' Billionaire Bash

If you hadn’t noticed, the past month or so has seen us witness a couple of ~fairly~ high profile weddings.

And after #DeepVeer and #NickYanka’s multiple ceremonies, it wouldn’t have been unfair to assume that the most lavish and extra Indian weddings of the season were behind us.

Well, little did we know that the real crazy rich Asians hadn’t even begun to party yet… And, holy shitballs, they didn’t come to half-ass it like those other plebs before them.


Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images

The Ambanis basically rented out half of Udaipur to host the “pre-wedding” festivities of their daughter Isha Ambani’s marriage to Anand Piramal.


oberoihotels.com

That’s right. The Ambanis took over the Oberoi Udaivilas, built an entirely separate “Swadesh Bazaar” for their guests, set up a Manish Malhotra pop-up store, and regaled their guests with multiple other amenities… and it wasn’t even for the actual wedding.

Of course, a party can only be as posh as its guest list, and the Ambanis didn’t skimp there either. Some of the attendees included ALL of Bollywood, former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, and Beyoncé Fuckin’ Knowles.

The number of high-profile guests flying in for the wedding actually caused some infrastructure hassles at the Udaipur airport.


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According to reports, over 200 chartered flights were scheduled to fly in and out of the city over the weekend just for the wedding.

And then, after everyone worth arriving had arrived, the festivities actually began:

1.

Nita Ambani kicked things off with a devotional performance in front of a HUGE aarti set up facing Lake Pichola.


Instagram: @mehendimagazine

2.

That would prove to be the most understated moment of the night, because it was followed by the entire Ambani clan dancing to “G.U.J.J.U.” from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

WATCH: #MukeshAmbani, #NitaAmbani and others shake a leg at #IshaAmbaniSangeet in Udaipur.
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAmbani #AnandPiramal

02:18 PM – 09 Dec 2018

The jury is still out on how ironic they meant the performance to be.

3.

Then they got Salman Khan – the man who has done entire films where there are zero scenes not featuring him or characters talking about him – to become a background dancer for Anant Ambani… on a Shah Rukh Khan song.

WATCH: @BeingSalmanKhan matches steps with #AnantAmbani at #IshaAmbaniSangeet on #KoiMilGaya song..
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAmbaniPreWedding #AnandPiramal #AmbaniWedding

02:20 PM – 09 Dec 2018

Turns out, there are certain people Bhai can be forced to become humble for.

4.

If one Khan wasn’t enough, they then got Shah Rukh to dance with the fam to “Shava Shava”.

WATCH: @iamsrk dances on #SayShavaShava with #MukeshAmbani, #NitaAmbani and others at #IshaAmbaniSangeet in Udaipur..
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAnandWedding #IshaAmbaniPreWedding #AnandPiramal #ShahRukhKhan

02:23 PM – 09 Dec 2018

5.

And just so they could complete the holy Khan trifecta, Aamir was made to join in too.

WATCH: @iamsrk and @aamir_khan come together along with @juniorbachchan & #AishwaryaRaiBachchan to bring the house down with #MukeshAmbani, #NitaAmbani and others at #IshaAmbaniSangeet
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAnandWedding #IshaAmbaniPreWedding #AmbaniWedding #AnandPiramal

02:26 PM – 09 Dec 2018

To say that the general public wasn’t impressed by the forced nature and the tackiness of the whole thing – despite the Ambanis having literal billions of dollars to spare – would be underselling things.

6.

With the Khans out of the way, next in line were Bollywood’s other royals – the Bachchans – marking attendance with a performance to “Tere Bina” from Guru.

#AishwaryaRaiBachchan and @juniorbachchan perform at #IshaAmbani’s pre-wedding celebrations.

03:39 PM – 09 Dec 2018

7.

With so much of the film fraternity on display, Karan Johar obviously manifested from somewhere, and danced with the bride-to-be to his own songs.

8.

At some point, SRK came back on stage to perform with his wife, Gauri. This one is only worth pointing out because Gauri Khan never performs anywhere, but she performed for the Ambanis.

.@iamsrk and @gaurikhan groove on Dilli Wali Girlfriend at #IshaAmbani and #AnandPiramal’s pre-wedding celebrations.

05:15 PM – 09 Dec 2018

(If you’re keeping count, the Ambanis had already got the three Khans, the Bachchans, and Karan Johar to perform for them till that point. To date, there hasn’t been a single award show in India with that much star power on display.)

9.

Once the local entertainment was out of the way, on came the star of the entire show (other than the money)…

10.

Beyoncé grooved to some of her greatest hits, even as all of us wondered how much the Ambanis had shelled out to get her for what is essentially a private function.

Look who’s here! #Beyonce slays the stage at #IshaAmbani and #AnandPiramal’s pre-wedding celebrations.

06:04 PM – 09 Dec 2018

11.

Like, I know it’s tacky to discuss. And the Ambanis can spend their money however they want. But come on, you know you’re thinking the same question.

#Beyonce turns up the heat at #IshaAmbani and #AnandPiramal’s pre-wedding celebrations.

06:09 PM – 09 Dec 2018

For reference, a Guardian report stated that she was paid $2 million to perform at a private New Year’s gig eight years ago, way back in 2010. We all know how much her profile has grown since then.

12.

If you’re still questioning how much influence the Ambanis have, remember Priyanka Chopra – the woman who got married less than 10 days ago? They even got her to prepare a performance.

.@priyankachopra shakes a leg on Desi Girl at #IshaAmbani and #AnandPiramal’s pre-wedding bash.

05:47 AM – 10 Dec 2018

13.

And if you thought Deepika and Ranveer managed to escape their clout and enjoy their newlywed life without getting sucked into this celebrity vortex… NOPE.

Newly weds @RanveerOfficial and @deepikapadukone shake a leg along with @AnilKapoor, #AishwaryaRaiBachchan and @juniorbachchan at #IshaAmbani’s pre-wedding celebrations.

08:58 PM – 09 Dec 2018

14.

Meanwhile, some more cash was spent on an Isha Ambani performance with fancy lasers and lights and shit.

Mesmerising! Bride-to-be #IshaAmbani delivers a magical performance at her pre-wedding celebrations last night.

08:43 AM – 10 Dec 2018

15.

And then there was an afterparty which, for what it’s worth, seemed a little more loose and fun.

.@juniorbachchan, @SidMalhotra and @RanveerOfficial groove to Jumma Chumma De De at #IshaAmbani and #AnandPiramal’s pre-wedding bash.

11:02 AM – 10 Dec 2018

However, not everyone was impressed by the truly staggering opulence on display here.

The obnoxious display of wealth and power at the Ambani wedding should anger all Indians. They built their empire on countless deaths, human rights violations, environmental destruction, and they have direct control over our politics and politicians.

05:32 AM – 10 Dec 2018

It wasn’t just the fact that all the celebs seemed to be there as part of an Ambani power play, it was that a lot of it seemed very tacky considering how much money they had blown.

Of course, for most people, it was just amusing to see a whole lot of influential celebrities being reduced to “the entertainment”.

Nothing is more funny than seeing our so called mega stars in d richest family of India. All their mega stardom, self respect and ego goes down the drain the moment Ambani family beckons. Money always sings the sweetest tunes…and makes the high & mighty stoop so low..

05:16 PM – 09 Dec 2018

Anant Ambani: When i perform on stage, i need some good Background dancer.
Mukesh Ambani: OK i will arrange Salman Khan

04:07 PM – 09 Dec 2018

Like, seriously. If the Ambanis were trying to show off how much money they have, job done.

Ambani has made Salman and Ranbir the background dancers lol. Each invitation card was of Rs 300000 . Holy shit man. Money makes the mare go like always.

11:26 AM – 10 Dec 2018

But as far as putting on a classy show goes… maybe the actual wedding in Mumbai will be better.

There’s A Movie On Netflix Called “Bad Match” That’s Making People Want To Quit Dating Apps So I Watched And Here’s How It Went

ENTERTAINMENT RATING: 9/10

DATING APPS: They seem exhausting based on this movie and also based on everything I’ve ever heard from anyone who has ever used them.

WHAT THIS WAS LIKE: If you like Black Mirror, this is kind of, sort of, vaguely the type of concept they’d have an episode on.

LINE FROM THE MOVIE THAT EXPRESSED HOW IT FELT TO WATCH THE MAIN CHARACTER, WHO WAS IN A GREAT DEAL OF LEGAL TROUBLE, NOT ANSWER HIS LAWYERS PHONE CALLS: “What the fuck, guy?”