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15 Festival Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Never Leave The House

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1.

The golden triangle:

“At Download 2005 there were three biker looking guys stood in a circle urinating into each others mouths, somehow all at the same time.”

emmaluigim

2.

The riot:

“I was at this bluegrass festival, a low key kinda local festival, and things got violent over some political shit. Luckily everyone was drunk and couldn’t see their own hand in front of their face. As I dragged my drunk friends home I saw some guy mercilessly beating up a shrub and screeching absolute nonsense.”

fnchdarcy

3.

The double explosion:

“At Reading 2016, a guy had left the door open to his portaloo and when I opened it to go in he was gripping the sides of the stall and had wedged his ass in the toilet seat, exploding from both ends. I stood in his vomit and couldn’t bring myself to wear those shoes for the rest of the weekend.”

sophiecrowe99

4.

The loose hose:

“Went to Benicàssim in 2008. One day at the campsite, as the porta-loos got emptied my the trucks, a hose came loose and a girl got absolutely covered in a horrific mixture of piss and shit.”

jamesl474b5862e

5.

The litter picker:

“I worked as a litter picker at the Isle of Wight festival for a few years, and every year we were surprised at just how many shits in carrier bags or sandwich bags there were. My friend who was doing her first year went to pick up something and screamed. ‘That’s not a sausage!’ she shrieked.”

scotth94

6.

The windmill:

“I was standing in a queue for food with my mum at Leeds Fest. Turned around to see some guy relieving himself while windmilling his penis. It definitely put me off eating.”

– ellakt

7.

The turdbuster:

“My mate decided it was a really good idea to wear an overall-type Ghostbusters costume to V Festival and try use the toilets. Ten minutes later when he re-dressed and came out he was covered from the shoulders down in other people’s shit that the costume had acquired while around his ankles.”

oliverphilipbrierley

8.

The takeaway:

“Seen a girl take a shit in a noodle box at Download festival.”

melisab43426acc9

9.

The toilet break:

“I was watching Stereophonics at T in the Park one year and having the time of my life. This group of girls were dancing about in front of me and one of them declares that she has to pee and it cannot wait. She then proceeds to pull down her shorts and did her business right in front of us. I have never seen so many people back away from someone in my life. It was rank.”

– rebeccad4b53c03f6

10.

The crowd surfers:

“I was about 13 or 14 at a festival to see one of my favourite bands. I was really excited to make my way to the front and being so short meant that most of the crowd surfers went straight over my head unnoticed… Until I smelt the strong stench of beer and realised a crowd surfer had vomited all over me.”

lisaj4f051ee7e

11.

The sleeping bag:

“I climbed into my sleeping bag only to discover that someone had done the deed in it and forgot their condom.”

– zanderniemand17

12.

The afternoon drink:

“Back in 2009 I went to Exit festival in Serbia. We were sat in a bar area at 3pm in the afternoon and a random guy stands up on a step, gets his knob out and continues to perfectly aim his piss into his mouth, swallowing some and then spitting the rest side to his side. He then just casually walks away.”

zahrar4b811d82a

13.

The brown wedding:

“At Bloodstock a few years ago, we camped next to a group called Camp Catastrophe – can’t remember if that’s just what we called them or if that’s what they called themselves. Nice bunch of kids but a bit wild. One of them had brought along a wedding dress, which someone shat on.”

rochefoucauld

14.

The muddy path:

“Went to Rock Fest in Canada a few years ago and the worst thing I saw there was a row of porta-potties and behind them was a dumpster. Guys were peeing there and it created a muddy path and someone ran though it and fell in the urine/mud.”

douknowurenemy

15.

The tower:

“At Phoenix Festival in ’96, the porta-loos were piled high over the toilet seats with shit. People had just been shitting on each other’s shit, not bothering to try and flush, and it must have easily been several inches over the height of the seat. Felt so sorry for whoever had to try and deal with that horror show.”

garetho2

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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